Silmeria's Mission
by FridayFrige
Summary: RufusxAlicia. Silmeria knows what's best! Time for Alicia to stop pouting and get herself a man. Don't cross a valkyrie on a mission, it isn't good for your health. Obviously, humor and silliness as well as things that never happened abound.
1. Chapter 1

**Silmeria's Mission**

Another RufusxAlicia fic by FridayFrige.

**Rating: **T for now, but it might go up.

**Introduction: **Well, despite serious parts, this is essentially a silly story. I just can't say no to drama when it sneaks its way in.

**Special Note: **The first chapter I wrote for the RuAli fan book. It has not been printed as of this fic's publication, but you can get information on it by searching Google for "RuAli" I am certain.

**Chapter One: Silmeria's Hand-holding Operation!**

Leone is a traitor. More than that.

_She's Hrist._

Alicia never felt the need to ask why Silmeria chose not to tell her. She knew that if she had known, she would have never been able to play the part of the oblivious girl she so normally was. Even more, Alicia had been given the opportunity to feel friendship for the first time since she was very small and had been so close to Dallas--her friend who, like her father, hated Silmeria; and whom Silmeria's feelings for were almost mutual.

It was amazing how Silmeria managed to make it seem that her actions were all for Alicia's sake, while still wrapping everything she did up into her mission's priorities. It was important that Alicia experienced life even with a valkyrie inside of her; yes, Silmeria cared about that--but it was more important that Alicia stir the human feelings deep inside of Hrist. That made Hrist hesitant and vulnerable. It made that nonexistent chance of pulling the eldest valkyrie to their side a small possibility. It was a tactic.

If there was any hope to reach Hrist, then Alicia didn't mind being used that way. She was thankful to be useful. It was only hard to keep the tears back because it was still very unlikely that Hrist would ever side with them. She wished that it didn't have to hurt so much.

And Arngrim...

_Alicia, pay attention._

Alicia shuddered at Silmeria's voice and looked up. All around her there was nothing but white, and well... a big stalk of what was mostly green. Rufus stood close beside her, collecting snowflakes in his hair like an evergreen tree. Other than that, there was nothing but snow reflecting the sun's bright light. The Sukvia Gorge was beautiful with its snow-dusted trees and softly falling snowflakes--yet harsh and unapproachable. She shivered in the only marginal warmth of her cloak and smiled sadly as she thought how that description reminded her of Rufus himself.

"Hey, sleep walking's dangerous, you know," Rufus said with a frown, placing his hands on his hips. "Especially if what you're doing is sleep-moping."

"Forgive me," Alicia replied apologetically, and walked past him with her head hung low.

- - -

As Alicia walked on without him, Rufus let out a deep sigh and dropped his arms to his sides, frustrated and ready to declare himself defeated. He had been trying to do something--anything to cheer her up since it all happened. She was pretty badly shaken up about the whole thing with Leone; and on some level, he was too. He was surprised that Leone, who had seemed honestly remorseful about his fate as a half-elf, was actually Hrist. The difference was that he was completely used to betrayal and knew how to cope with it. For Alicia, it was one more strike against her innocence and optimism. If he didn't do something, she was going to end up a bitter old recluse with no social skills, just like him.

Unfortunately for Rufus, it was because of the very fact that he was a bitter old recluse that it strained him think of something as simple as, say, giving the girl a hug, or even just a pat on the shoulder. He might have died for the chance to touch her; but that would involve getting close enough to her to do that, and he had no idea how, when, or if he really should.

There had been one time that he reached out to help her over a stone. That was in the Surts Volcano Caverns. It had been such a natural thing that he didn't realize exactly what he was doing until he felt her hand. They were so soft and tiny compared to his big and awkward ones, only good for pulling bowstrings. She smiled at him and gave him her thanks, and his chest warmed up a little more even in that hot-as-blazes Hel of a place. That's when something inside of him went _Hey, stop that!_ as if he, too, had his own personal Silmeria.

He walked after Alicia, watching as the snowflakes became caught in her hair. He could see the real color of it in this kind of light. It wasn't true blonde because it lacked a gold sparkle, and it wasn't light brown either, it was sort of a light-yelowish grey. When that description popped into his head he thought of how awful it sounded. _That sounds like the color of bird poop!_ He was going to have to come up with a better adjective. Silvery? No, not really. Not unless you used it in some creative simile, such as: the locks of her hair were like the silvery branches of a weeping willow tree. Okay, maybe that was thinking a little too hard.

And while all of this was running through his head, he forgot completely to tell Alicia that he thought they were lost. Silmeria had to know the way, right? Silmeria _always_ knew the way.

- - -

_He's only trying to help you_, Silmeria said as Alicia shuffled quickly away from her companion.

"I know," she replied back in a meek whimper. "That's why I don't want him to see me being sad anymore."

_Alicia..._

"_"_Rufus has a lot to worry about without bothering with me," she replied. "I should just stay away from him, shouldn't I? And then... it won't hurt as much."

_Do you really think that Rufus would leave you?_

"No..." She did not know how to explain this, not even to Silmeria. "He doesn't have to leave because... he's always far away."

_Oh really? He seems to be close at hand right now._

"But even so, I just can't..." she whispered. "I can't reach out to him."

She jumped slightly at the crunching of snow underfoot as Rufus ran up close behind her. "Hey," he said, panting puffs of frosty breath. "Don't go off like that. I don't want to lose you, too."

"Me, too...?" Alicia wondered as to the meaning of this and then looked around herself. Dylan and Lezard were nowhere to be seen. "Oh no," she sighed. "When did we get separated?"

"This snow is so thick," Rufus said, looking cross-eyed as he tried to look at a piece that had fallen onto the tip of his nose. "The sun is bright and it's still coming down. We're both going to be icicles if we don't get out of here fast. I just want to know how the Hel we lost _Dylan_ in all of this. That's like losing an elephant."

Alicia finally gave in and giggled. Rufus grinned in accomplishment, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "I was uh... following you, and I thought that Silmeria was leading the way, so..." Alicia was amused further by this behavior. She was glad that her face was already pink from the cold.

Silmeria's voice interrupted the moment abruptly. _Here, I will show you how to do it._

_What? _Alicia replied, and found herself on the inside, looking through Silmeria's eyes. She watched carefully with no control over her own body as Silmeria smiled at Rufus. He seemed to noticed the change between them because his eyes widened and his brows furrowed slightly in concern. Alicia thought he must be expecting Silmeria to chew him out for losing their way, and for a moment, she agreed with this assumption. Instead, Silmeria reached up with Alicia's hands and brushed the snow away from Rufus's face. She gently wiped away a piece lodged in his eyelashes.

"Bend over," she told him.

"What?" he balked, suddenly regaining control of his motor functions.

"You're too tall for me to reach up there where all the snow is getting," she said in a frustrated tone. "Bend over."

Rufus was hesitant, and for good reason. "Uh... no, I don't want to."

As Silmeria began to grow agitated, her hand shot up to Rufus's ear, ignoring the defenses of his bandanna, and pulled him downward. "Just bend over. If it melts in your hair, you'll be damp and catch pneumonia! Do as I tell you!"

Alicia watched this in horror, and then found herself thrust forward into full control of herself again in the midst of this abuse. She let go of Rufus, who was whimpering in agony. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she squealed.

_That did not work out as well as I had planned. Perhaps your point is a valid one._

"What is Silmeria trying to do?" Rufus complained loudly, rubbing his ear.

"I don't really know," Alicia replied. "Come on. Let's try and either find the others or the exit to this place, whichever comes first."

"No problem," he laughed, and took the lead. "They probably just got ahead of us and figured that Silmeria must know what she's doing."

"What a bad assumption to make," Alicia sighed under her breath.

_It would have worked if he had not complained so much. You'll have to try another approach!_

She recognized that as the tone of a determined valkyrie who just wasn't going to give up until she succeeded in her mission. "No, Silmeria..." Alicia said in a low tone, trying to hide it from Rufus. "What do you expect me to do anyway?"

_Kiss his face, of course._

"No!" Alicia objected rather loudly, causing Rufus to look at her as if she were crazy. She lowered her voice. "I don't want to do that."

_Then be resourceful. Just touch him somehow and I promise that I will leave you alone._

Alicia grimaced. Didn't Silmeria know that she would if she could? This was ridiculous. Still, if it would get the valkyrie to stop being so rash...

- - -

Rufus rubbed his ear. Though the cold air had rendered it almost numb, it only made Silmeria's abuse sting even more. He wondered what she was trying to get him to lean over for. That was weird. Still, Alicia's hands had been on his face, and even if she wasn't controlling them at the time, it felt pretty nice. _Hey, stop that, _said his inner not-Silmeria just as that thought popped into his head.

The most likely thing was that Silmeria was using him to cheer Alicia up. If that was the valkyrie's idea of being funny, he would go along with it. Alicia's smile was worth a little humiliation. He just wished she would be a little more gentle.

"Rufus," Alicia said softly. He noticed that she had stopped again for some reason. "I can scarcely see my own nose. Would you... um..."

"Huh?" Rufus replied. He turned to catch her doing that amazingly cute thing where she would poke her fingertips together nervously while looking in the other direction. It didn't matter what she was going to ask him, he would have eaten dirt for that look. _ Look how much you've let her get to you, _his conscious--maybe that's what it was--said to him. When they had departed out of Dipan, that little routine hadn't affected him at all. Well... maybe just a little, but definitely not this much.

"Would you... hold my hand, maybe?" she said. "So... so that I won't lose you?"

Rufus was stunned into silence for a moment. "I... yeah," he answered breathlessly. Carefully he reached out and grasped her small hand. It was cold and so was his, but maybe now that they were together, they might warm up a little.

Silmeria was pleased with this development.

_Phase one, complete!_


	2. Chapter 2

Phase 2: Silmeria's Kiss Operation

Eventually they cleared the gorge hand-in hand. Alicia liked the feeling of his fingers around hers. Despite her story about it being a preventive measure against being lost again, it meant that he wanted to share with her. That is what is what she had always wanted, a companion--someone who wasn't afraid of Silmeria, who didn't think that she was crazy. It wasn't _all_ that she wanted, however. These romantic thoughts filled her head, made her blush, and as Silmeria intended, kept her mind far away from Hrist's betrayal and their return to Dipan.

"I have never been in a place this cold before," she said to disrupt the silence.

"Me neither," Rufus replied. "I've never traveled to Solde this way."

Alicia kept a gentle grasp on his hand as they walked. "How long have you been traveling?"

"I'm not certain," he answered. Alicia felt his fingers squeeze around her hand and wondered if this was intentional or simply a reaction to the thought. He didn't look at her. She had not caught him looking at her at any of the frequent times that her eyes darted up to him. "I really never had much of an idea of time until I came to Midgard," he went on. "I suppose I could have been here for a few years. It may feel longer than it really is, since things actually _happen_ here."

"I understand," Alicia replied. "Every day in that castle felt so long that I swear I could be a thousand years old."

"Oh, but I feel like a little kid," Rufus laughed. She liked the sound of his voice when he was happy. It was completely laid back and informal, unlike Dylan or Lezard. At the same time, he didn't sound gruff or uncouth like Arngrim had. Thoughts of Arngrim made her suddenly downtrodden. He must have noticed and misread the cause, because he smiled in that apologetic I-didn't-really-mean-it sort of way. "I mean I haven't experienced much that life has to offer," he said.

"Oh!" Alicia snapped out of depressing thoughts. "Me either. Well... except for the bad things."

"Yeah, bad things..." Rufus sighed. "Plenty of experience with those..."

- - -

Rufus felt the conversation going down a channel he didn't want to ride, but he wasn't sure of how to redirect it. No social skills, after all. "It hasn't all been bad!" he said a little too loudly, and when he laughed it showed how nervous he was. He noticed he was squeezing her and swinging their arms back and forth like an idiot. "I mean," he mumbled, looking straight up into the snow-filled sky, "I met you, and that wasn't bad..." That part was really pretty great, he just wasn't sure of how to explain it without sounding like a moron.

She smiled and her cheeks took on a distinctive shade of pink. Smiling, blushing, smiling and blushing some more. It was much better than crying. "I am glad I met you, too," she said.

Rufus grinned and began to trod through the snow with a bit more confidence.

- - -

_I see your strategy_, Silmeria said. _Build up his ego, and then maybe he won't complain so much when you pull on him. Brilliant plan of action!_

"It isn't a _plan_," Alicia whispered. "Would you just be quiet? You're going to mess it up."

_There is a plan; for if there weren't, there would be nothing to mess up._

Alicia didn't raise her voice, but she did put extreme stress on two specific words. "Stop. It."

"Is everything okay?" Rufus asked.

"Fine," Alicia sighed in frustration. Rufus's hand slipped away from hers. He refastened his quiver to its harness despite it needed no adjustment to try and pass this off as natural, but Alicia was sure that it was because she had made him uncomfortable.

_Take it back! You must enforce a strategy for it to achieve results!_

Alicia stomped on ahead, too angry to speak, face red and heart aching. Rufus would never want to hold her hand again, she was sure of it!

- - -

Every time he got close to Alicia, Silmeria did something--said something that he was not privy to. All that he knew is that it made Alicia upset. Silmeria must not like him being close to her. She was probably right. Alicia had enough to worry about at the moment without having confusing interactions with him. It hurt to let go of her, but he did what he always did--he tried to hide it in a manner which was--to everyone but him--completely obvious.

Where was this going anyway? He never liked to be around anyone else before. Their company was the first party he had ever been a member of, and their bonds were less than tight. He and Dylan had grown to respect each other each in their own way--the big guy even stood up for him from time to time. It wasn't like he was a big brother or anything, the guy just knew what was right and did it no matter what. Arngrim had been a pretty fun guy; but he had had always felt that Arngrim was the sort of guy who could be drinking with you one minute and stealing your money the next. No hard feelings pal, just trying to get by. That kind of thing. And Lezard--nobody really liked that guy, except maybe Alicia. He was arrogant and always smiling, muttering behind people's back and generally acting creepy.

Silmeria was a little different. Of course he hadn't trusted her at all at first, but then he hadn't been straight with her either. Not that it helped, because she had known all along. He had grown to trust her, even admire her. Before meeting Silmeria he had no idea how to strike at Odin other than hope that Dipan was getting it right. She gave him the possibilities.

And Alicia. By all rights he shouldn't have met Alicia. Silmeria should have been born princess of Dipan and Alicia should have lived a completely normal life somewhere as a regular girl in some other body somewhere in the world. Maybe as a farm girl in Coriander, or something peaceful like that. She was managing to get by despite all of this, and that is why he liked her. Her problems were even more immense and unfair than his own, and she went through them without any cynicism or bitterness. Some understandable hesitation and fear at times, but what she wore on her sleeve was far less than what he hid deep inside of himself. That made her stronger. Beautiful.

"I still don't see them," she said as they came to a bridge. It seemed like a logical place to wait.

"Maybe we're ahead of them," Rufus mumbled, still thinking too hard about everything. He wanted to take her hand again, but refrained.

"Should we wait, then?" she answered.

- - -

_Go on ahead_, Silmeria instructed. _We don't know if they are ahead or behind, so waiting would be pointless._

"Silmeria says to press on," Alicia sighed as she began to cross the bridge.

It was a narrow, rickety thing covered in ice and snow. Alicia held the ropes to either side for dear life even though they were frozen solid and numbed her hands. Rufus stepped behind her, totally unconcerned with the height. She looked down into the gorge and gulped.

"Are you okay?" Rufus asked her again.

And again she answered, "Fine!"

They began to walk, Alicia leading and Rufus right behind her. They were still some distance from the other side when Alicia felt Silmeria tickle at the back of her mind. She didn't fully take over, but she did give enough of a nudge to disturb Alicia's balance. She cried out in terror as she slipped and fell.

"Alicia!" Rufus shouted and caught her in his arms. Again Silmeria prodded and manipulated Alicia's body just enough so that she landed cradled in his arms like a fairy-tale princess and not just the normal variety. Rufus noticed nothing amiss and held onto her tightly, as frantic as if her life had been at stake. Truthfully, she would have done little more than bruised her rear had he not been there, but Alicia couldn't think of how to explain this.

"I am okay," she said. "Really. I just lost my balance for a moment."

"You shouldn't look down," he laughed, and set her back on her feet.

_Ask him to carry you._

"I don't need to be carried!" she protested.

Rufus reeled back in shock. "I didn't say..."

"Oh, not you!" she said apologetically and rubbed his arm. Communicating through physical contact was an effective method once she tried it, she had to give that much to Silmeria. He seemed to understand the little pat much better than any words.

"If Silmeria would like you to be carried, I suppose I could try it..."

"N-no," Alicia laughed and turned to start on her way again. She hid her face from him. The more she thought about his arms around her, the redder she became. "It's all right, it won't happen again."

She continued to walk, heeding his advice and not looking down. It relieved her very little, but having Rufus standing close behind her gave her a little comfort. He could catch her if she started to fall.

They soon reached the opposite end of the bridge. Alicia doubled over, panting as if she had just run a mile. "Oh thank goodness that's over!" she exclaimed.

"You really were scared," Rufus laughed. "It is a pretty long fall."

Alicia steadied herself and looked up again. "Okay," she said. "Let's focus on rejoining the others now."

- - -

Rufus knew that once they were with the others again, he would never be able to say anything privately to Alicia (or, private as it could get with Silmeria listening in). To his amazement, the voice in his head for once was encouraging. _Okay, this is the time, Rufus! The one time not to be completely lacking in speaking skills!_ He took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself. What's the worst that could happen? He'd make an ass of himself. Like that didn't happen every day anyway.

"Alicia," he said.

She looked up, hopeful. "Yes?"

"I--" The more he looked at her, the harder it was for him to think of what he was trying to say. He raised his hand and placed it against her cheek. It was warm there, despite the coldness in the air. She looked surprised but receptive in response to this. "I have really... liked this," he forced himself to say. "Holding your hand... and just being with you. I hope that it happens again."

She placed her hand over his, holding it tenderly to her face as if she was also drawing warmth from it, though he knew that his fingers were cold as ice. Now it was his turn to be surprised. She gazed at him with a serene look in her eyes that warmed him to the core. "I liked this too," she said.

And then he wasn't entirely sure what the Hel he was doing. He tilted her chin upwards, and looked down into her face, her bright blue eyes shimmering with anticipation. He hesitated, considering what it was he was trying to do. She closed her eyes in expectance. A moment passed. When nothing happened, she opened them again.

He saw that he had waited too long and ruined it. "I-I'm sorry," he stuttered.

- - -

"It's okay," she reassured him, though disappointment was obvious in her voice. She looked down and bashfully away, dropping his hand. "I... I understand..." She turned away from him and crossed her arms delicately in front of herself. "I thought that you were-- oh, I'm so embarrassed, I--"

_He was. _Silmeria told her. _ Now is the time! At a critical turning point, sometimes you must act on instinct! You must--_

"Please be quiet, Silmeria!"

_I thought more of Rufus than this..._

As if Rufus could hear this and was determined to prove her wrong, his hand clapped onto Alicia's shoulder and pulled her back to him in a spinning motion that left both the girl and the goddess within her reeling in surprise. He caught her in the cloak he wore as protection against the cold, holding her tightly to his chest. She flushed bright crimson, hotter now than she ever believed possible in the snow.

"My hands are cold," he said as he folded the cloak around her. "You're really warm, so... I hope you don't mind if I just hold you for a little while."

She replied in a tiny, bashful voice. "I... I would like that..." Her body relaxed against his. He could feel her pressed against him for warmth. He felt his own body might melt away.

_- - -_

"Please stay with me," Alicia asked as she snuggled her face against his chest.

"Ah... of course I will," he stammered in reply. "Even if things turn out okay."

Surprisingly, it was Rufus who first began to pull them apart, but Alicia was content with this. "Let's get out of this freezing place," she said, still flushing in embarrassment.

"Y-yeah, let's find the others."

From that moment on they said little, and touched each other no more. Silmeria was pleased with the development, but not entirely satisfied. _Phase 2... not a _complete_ failure, _she thought. _Still, I must take more drastic measures. _


End file.
